J.D. Vance and the Swan Song of Irony

A Satire from the Heart of the Book Ban Zone.

Once upon a time, there was a man named J.D. Vance. He wrote a book about himself, called it Hillbilly Elegy, and America applauded. The media cried out, “Finally, someone who explains the white underclass!” And Netflix said, “Let’s make it a movie!” And the Republicans: “A prophet from the Rust Belt!” J.D. Vance, the man who had written himself out of poverty, was suddenly the key witness for everything supposedly going wrong in America, and everything that supposedly could be fixed with hard work.

Then he became a senator. Then he became Trump’s number two in waiting. And then - this is where the universe bends under the weight of irony - his very own book was removed from the library of the U.S. Naval Academy. Yes, you heard that right. Hillbilly Elegy, the ode to "Real America," became a victim of its own culture war. Banned under the label: "DEI content." Too much reality, too much social analysis, too many uncomfortable truths about the America that Donald Trump now imagines only as a patriotic backdrop.

And Vance? He supports the whole spectacle. Defends Trump’s executive orders that erase anything resembling critical thought. Nods approvingly as books by Maya Angelou, Margaret Atwood, George Orwell and - yes - even Hillbilly Elegy disappear from the shelves. No joke: the man whose life’s work is now considered dangerous has made himself a defender of the system that erases it.

In a just world, Vance would now be on a reading tour through prison libraries, where his book might still be found. He’d be asked in talk shows: “How does it feel to be censored by your own people?” And he would say: “That’s okay. As long as my name stays on the ballot.”

But we don’t live in a just world. We live in a country where books are burned without fire. Where politicians would rather lose their libraries than their power. And where a man like Vance watches his own book vanish from the stage - and still applauds.

Hillbilly Elegy, 2025. Endorsed by Fox News. Banned by the Navy. Defended by its author. Welcome to the literary history of the new world order.