A sentence that insults gravity

Donald Trump, 79 years old, whose physical condition is publicly most visible in the way he climbs stairs with the caution of a man who trusts the handrail more than his own calf, told the astronauts of the Artemis II mission in a moment of galactic self assessment that he would have had “no problem at all” flying to the moon with them. He is, according to the president, “physically very, very good.”

Astronauts, it should be briefly noted, undergo stress tests before every flight that would make an average marathon runner cry. They are spun in centrifuges until their vision fades, they spend hours in training pools, they undergo medical examinations in which every single artery is tested for its will to live. They sleep little, eat little, laugh rarely and sweat a lot. They are, in short, the opposite of Donald Trump.

The man who eats two scoops of ice cream while others get one, who does not see McDonald’s as a calculation error of life but as a food group, who by his own account limits his physical activity to golf and “giving speeches,” now considers himself fit to orbit the moon in an aluminum capsule. One does not want to contradict him. One wants to agree. One wants to send him on board.

Because anyone who has ever tried to tie their shoes in a spacesuit knows that the ISS does not have seats for egos of that size. The suit alone weighs about 130 kilograms. Trump would not only have to wear it, he would have to move in it, turn, climb, repair. In a state of weightlessness that cannot be insulted by talking over it. In space no one shouts back. In space there is no Truth Social. In space no one has ever applauded because a man claimed he was the fittest astronaut NASA never had.

The real point is not in the sentence. It is in the ease with which it was said. In front of real astronauts. In front of people who spent years of their lives meeting requirements that Trump brushes aside with a shrug. It is not only the lie that stands out. It is the insult to discipline. The quiet assumption that performance, preparation and physical endurance are nothing compared to the shining certainty of an American president who has never experienced something as inconvenient as a pull up from the inside.

Perhaps that is the real gift of this presidency to science. We have learned that vaccines poison, that elections are stolen, that Democrats are evil beings and that Trump could go to the moon. Four claims, each an insult to reality, together a complete worldview for those who have given up thinking because it became too exhausting.

NASA will have smiled politely. The astronauts will have nodded. That is the protocol. That is the courtesy toward an office that long ago lost its dignity. But in truth, everyone in the room likely thought the same thing we all think when a 79 year old man with the stability of a plum cake claims he is astronaut ready.

Sure, Don. Sure. Pack your things. We will leave the capsule door open.