Once upon a time, in a land where the highest health offices didn't require medical excellence but rather a strong personal brand and the right Instagram filter. Welcome to the United States under President Donald Trump, where the new Surgeon General (Chief Physician of the Nation) is known not for her clinical expertise but for her fondness for psychedelic mushrooms. Dr. Casey Means, the candidate for the nation’s highest health office, is not a typical doctor. She is an influencer, a wellness guru, an expert in “good energy,” which apparently also means recommending people shoot themselves into “other realities” with hallucinogenic drugs. Her medical education? Incomplete. Her medical license? Inactive. Her therapeutic advice? “Try mushrooms. It helped me find love.” Psilocybin, the active ingredient in these “magic mushrooms,” is a federally banned drug classified as Schedule I – a substance without recognized medical use and with high potential for abuse. One might think that would be a problem for someone who is supposed to hold the nation’s highest health office. But in the Trump era, banned drugs are apparently “alternative remedies.”
In a book full of spiritual wisdom and metabolic magic, Dr. Means explains that psilocybin – the psychoactive substance in magic mushrooms – can be one of the most meaningful experiences of life. Well, why not? What could scientifically grounded studies have against a doctor who hallucinates about “cosmic nesting dolls” and “endless rows of mothers and babies”? Of course, one might think the Surgeon General (Chief Physician of the Nation) should be someone who relies on proven medical practices rather than on inner voices and “plant medicine.” But in the Trump era, facts matter less than belief. Do you believe in alternative medicine? Great. Do you believe in alternative facts? Perfect. Dr. Means is also not the first candidate for the position. Originally, Trump nominated TV doctor Janette Nesheiwat, who turned out to be “overqualified” because she had a real medical degree and clinical experience. A clear case of overqualification for the nation’s highest health office.
So why Dr. Means? Trump said he chose her on the recommendation of Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “Bobby thought she was fantastic,” Trump explained, adding that he didn’t know her. Well, that fits the method: Recommend a candidate who impressed your brother-in-law. And if the recommendation comes from a Kennedy, it must be good. But don't worry, Dr. Means is not alone. Her brother Calley Means, an advisor at the Department of Health, is also a supporter of psychedelic drugs. He invested his entire 401k retirement account in stocks of companies focusing on psychedelic substances. So, a true family affair. Of course, the Surgeon General (Chief Physician of the Nation) is traditionally someone who provides the public with scientifically sound health information. But in the Trump era, it’s more important that the person understands spiritual leadership – and Instagram. And what could be more spiritual than a candidate who found her way to love through hallucinogenic mushrooms? Welcome to the United States, where the future of public health is viewed through the lens of a psychedelic dream. In a nation where the truth is flexible and science is optional, Dr. Casey Means is the perfect choice.
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