The White House has spoken. Not in a press conference, not through legislation – but with a phrase straight out of the arsenal of toxic family dynamics: “Daddy’s Home.” And suddenly, the world’s largest democracy feels like a poorly ventilated basement where someone is compensating for daddy issues with a nuclear warhead. So Trump is back. And how do you announce that? With a mix of parental fantasy and bad porn title. “Daddy’s Home” doesn’t sound like politics – it sounds like leather boots and a sermon on obedience. All that’s missing is Fox News opening its broadcasts with: “Buckle up, snowflakes.”
But of course: when political vision runs dry, all that’s left is roleplay. And while Europe debates artificial intelligence, America is once again experimenting with patriarchal simulation. A country of over 300 million people is being governed like a broken suburban household, where the father returns after years of absence and starts by throwing open the windows and ripping the rainbow flag off the bedroom wall. The message to the people is clear: you don’t need to understand – you need to obey. The tone? Somewhere between “I’m keeping you safe” and “As long as you live under my roof.” That the Constitution now serves more as a rug to sweep things under is just part of the new house rules. And as “Daddy” marches through the halls again, applauding himself and using the word “beautiful” more often than most people use deodorant, only one question remains: If Daddy’s really home – can we finally move out?
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