Trump Calls Oslo - And Shames the Nobel Peace Prize to Death

Donald Trump has reached a new low point in his political self-promotion - and that says something for a man who already sells Bibles with his name on them. The President of the United States now personally picks up the phone to pressure Norwegian diplomats into finally giving him the Nobel Prize. Not just any - no, the Nobel Peace Prize. The one awarded in Oslo when the world is given a little hope. In Trump’s case, it is like awarding “Vegetarian of the Year” to a butcher. Norway’s Finance Minister Jens Stoltenberg - yes, the former NATO chief - politely confirmed that Trump had called him to talk about tariffs and economic cooperation. A conversation between statesmen, one would think. Only that the president soon veered off topic and raised the question that has apparently been driving him for years: “And when do I finally get my Nobel Prize?” As it turned out, it was already the second time he had brought this up in a phone call with Norwegian government officials. Trump himself is convinced that he deserves the prize much more than all four US presidents before him who have received it - especially more than Barack Obama. “He didn’t even know why he got it,” he sneered before a cheering crowd in Las Vegas. Trump forgot to mention that Obama had been in office for only one year at the time - and that the international hope for disarmament and diplomacy might have been something different from Trump’s pride in a particularly “crazy” election result.

But now the PR machine is running hot. Benjamin Netanyahu sent a glowing letter to the Nobel Committee praising Trump as a “peace maker” in series - as if he were pulling a new Middle East agreement out of his sleeve every morning. Even Armenia and Azerbaijan jumped on board after their Washington summit a week ago, because Trump had managed to officially end their 37-year feud. The White House serves this as a historic achievement, as if the world had only been dragged to the negotiating table through Trump’s hands. And now the focus is on Alaska, where Trump wants to meet Vladimir Putin to end the war in Ukraine “on the first day” of his presidency - a deadline he has generously extended to 2025. Even his former advisers say the pressure is “huge”. After all, Trump sees the Nobel Prize as the “crowning achievement of his legacy”. Or, in plain language: as the golden trophy that will finally make him immortal.

If world peace does not quite work out, there will surely be someone like Geraldo Rivera, who solemnly declared on Newsmax: “Even the attempt counts!” This is roughly like honoring a surgeon because he at least held the scalpel in the correct hand - even if the patient remained on the table. Rivera even went one step further: If Trump ends the Ukraine war or Gaza, he could not be denied the prize. On December 10, the Nobel Peace Prize will be awarded in Oslo. Until then, we will probably see a few more of these surreal PR stunts that oscillate somewhere between slapstick, overconfidence, and diplomatic embarrassment. The Kaizen Blog has requested a statement from the White House - not that Trump is already on the phone again and calling Oslo.

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