The Peacemaker – A Lesson in Five Dreams and a Bag of Tacos

Little Donald has once again dug deep into the taco bag. With greasy fingers and a vacant stare, he sits beneath his golden lamp, chewing on “Make the Middle East Great Again” and daydreaming his way through geopolitics as if it were a poorly oiled wrestling show. Where others wield diplomacy, he wields caps lock.

Peace between Israel and Iran? But of course. In his mind, he’s already invited them to golf in Bedminster, signed a few deals, sold a few oil fields. And if the Ayatollahs hesitate – a cheeseburger on the table and a Truth Social post in hand are known to solve any Shia-Sunni conflict.

India and Pakistan? He fixed that too. Or so he claims, and for him, that’s enough. That no one in Delhi remembers any of it is irrelevant. Donald only thinks in phrases like “I fixed it. You’re welcome.” And in glittery letters that don’t care about reality. For him, truth is something to be locked away when it gets in the way.

Serbia and Kosovo? He says he prevented war. A sentence that has about as much to do with the actual history of the Balkans as his hair does with aerodynamics. While Richard Grenell organized a few flight routes, Donald styled himself as the Prince of Peace. You know how it goes – a little Wi-Fi in Pristina, and the decades-old conflict is suddenly resolved – at least on FOX News.

Egypt and Ethiopia? His spirit supposedly hovered here too, above the Nile, above the dam, above every negotiation that never took place. A tweet from the sidelines, and the water started flowing again. That’s how he imagines diplomacy – like a faucet you can turn on or off, depending on the ratings.

What Trump doesn’t understand is this: diplomacy is not a steak. You can’t serve it rare and shout at the table that you grilled it yourself. It’s a quiet, often tough struggle. But Donald doesn’t want quiet. He wants noise. Preferably the sound of his own voice, dictated by a teleprompter he can’t read.

That he never gets credit, as he complains, isn’t because no one is listening. It’s because there’s no substance. Because if you mention the Nile, you should at least know which country it starts in. If you speak of Israel, perhaps don’t simultaneously cozy up to antisemites. And if you dream of Harvard, don’t prove daily that you failed even at Truth Social. But Donald remains what he is – a little boy in the body of an old man who sees himself as the great bringer of peace, while in reality he’s just kicking up sand – in a sandbox he thinks is the world. And if in the end, peace in the Middle East, the India-Pakistan deal, the Nile affair, and the Kosovo comeback don’t work out – it’ll be Biden’s fault, or CNN’s, or maybe the wind turbines’.

Little Donald has once again dug deep into the taco bag. And who knows – maybe at this very moment, he’s dreaming of the Nobel Peace Prize. Made of pure cheese. Double cream.

Trumps Post, 15. Juni 2025

Iran and Israel should make a deal, and will make a deal, just like I got India and Pakistan to make, in that case by using TRADE with the United States to bring reason, cohesion, and sanity into the talks with two excellent leaders who were able to quickly make a decision and STOP! Also, during my first term, Serbia and Kosovo were going at it hot and heavy, as they have for many decades, and this long time conflict was ready to break out into WAR. I stopped it (Biden has hurt the longer term prospects with some very stupid decisions, but I will fix it, again!). Another case is Egypt and Ethiopia, and their fight over a massive dam that is having an effect on the magnificent Nile River. There is peace, at least for now, because of my intervention, and it will stay that way! Likewise, we will have PEACE, soon, between Israel and Iran! Many calls and meetings now taking place. I do a lot, and never get credit for anything, but that’s OK, the PEOPLE understand. MAKE THE MIDDLE EAST GREAT AGAIN!