FORT BRAGG, NC - In a performance best described as a hostage video under kiss orders at 30 knots of wind, First Lady Melania Trump landed in Fort Bragg on Friday to deliver a Valentine’s message that makes you wonder whether someone ran her speech through Google Translate seventeen times.
“I have a nostalgia filled message,” she announced to soldiers who signed up to defend freedom - not to endure this fever dream. The message? Love letters are now patriotic. Or patriots should write love letters. Or perhaps love letters are patriots. Honestly - no idea. The whole thing had the structural logic of a fortune cookie written during a migraine. The troops stood at attention, faces frozen in that particular brand of military discipline that prevents one from shouting “what the hell is happening here.” sind Liebesbriefe Patrioten. Ehrlich gesagt – keine Ahnung. Das Ganze hatte die Sinn-Architektur eines Glückskekses, der während einer Migräne verfasst wurde. Die Truppen standen stramm, Gesichter eingefroren in dieser speziellen militärischen Disziplin, die einen davon abhält, laut „was zur Hölle passiert hier gerade“ zu fragen.
Meanwhile, her husband celebrated “military power” - that traditional Valentine’s Day activity where you admire weapons and presumably rank tanks by attractiveness. The timing is perfect: nothing says “I love you” quite like the First Lady murmuring about nostalgia while her husband polishes missiles in the background. This romantic kiss and combat choreography would drive any greeting card company into bankruptcy. You have to admire the brand consistency. While normal people exchange chocolates and flowers, the Trumps delivered - whatever that was: a valentinist performance art piece that left everyone more confused than a Marine trying to decipher IKEA instructions.
On some of the soldiers’ faces, you could read the wish: better to be redeployed to an active combat zone than to ever endure such a holiday greeting again.
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Ich dachte , die Trumps wären nur noch zum abschalten. Inzwischen kann ich kaum noch ihre Gesichter ertragen. Ein Paar das sich gegenseitig eine Leiter zum Gottesthron baut,
ist kaum noch zu überbieten an Stubidität .
Ich kann die Stimmen von den beiden nicht ertragen! Folglich wird der Fernseher auf stumm gestellt und nur der Untertitel gelesen!