The Undead Keeps Tweeting – Trump Drowns Death Speculation in 42 Rage Posts

Donald Trump is so alive that he fired off 42 posts in ten hours – a digital barrage that would make even Russian troll factories blush. Allegedly dead? Ha! The man was so “not dead” that in a single night he fueled everything: the “Russia Hoax,” the “corrupt Democrats,” crime in D.C. and probably also the myth of the Yeti. If the afterlife has Wi-Fi, one could think Trump already has his own server there. His posts read like a mix of conspiracy litany, shopping list and wrestling event chant. While normal people sleep, Trump apparently devises new theories about his own immortality – or his next indictment.

But the prize for the most bizarre performance of the day did not even go to Trump himself but to his secretary of homeland security, Kristi Noem. On Face the Nation she seriously declared that Los Angeles “wouldn’t be standing today” if Trump hadn’t sent in the National Guard. One can practically picture the governor of California falling to his knees out of sheer gratitude: Thank you, Donald, for saving our city from spontaneous self-destruction!

In reality, Trump’s “deployment” in Los Angeles at the time was as necessary as an umbrella in the Mojave Desert. But Noem tells it as if the president had personally defended the Hollywood sign from marauding Antifa mobs – shirtless and with an M16. The online community reacted accordingly: memes of burning Barbie dolls calling Noem “ICE Barbie” flooded X, Bluesky and Threads. If you believe Noem, Trump was at the same time the savior of L.A., destroyer of the Deep State and perhaps even the true inventor of the wheel. So while the world laughed about his alleged death report, Trump used the opportunity to punch himself back into the headlines – and Kristi Noem turned the Sunday interview into a free advertising campaign for late-night comedians.

If Trump really does die one day, it will probably look like this: a 50-post marathon on Truth Social in which he declares live from the afterlife that reports of his death are “FAKE NEWS” – followed by Kristi Noem assuring that heaven would have collapsed long ago without Trump.

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