It was a sunny Monday morning in Mar-a-Lago when President Donald Trump - in the middle of a speech about the benefits of chlorine-free pool water - suddenly paused, took a deep breath, and solemnly declared:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\"We need to investigate Beyonc\u00e9.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not because of a music video or a suspiciously perfect pregnancy announcement - no. But because, according to the president, she, along with Bruce Springsteen, Bono, and Oprah, is said to have formed an \"illegal, radically celebrity-driven support network\" that \"probably undermined the democratic election system of the United States.\" Undermined! With glitter, soul, and donation receipts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Department of Justice - still occupied with real tasks at the time - is now, according to Trump, supposed to launch a \"comprehensive investigation.\" What exactly is it about? Maybe a flawed donation report from 2023. Maybe a secret Beyonc\u00e9 album codenamed \"Kamala.\" Maybe just the fact that Trump was once rejected by Oprah. Who really knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The nation, battered by Moody's downgrade, tumbling treasury yields, and inflation that has brought the dollar to its knees, should have other concerns. But Trump knows - what is the economy compared to a good distraction?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\"The economy is dying? Wrong! Bruce Springsteen endorsed Kamala in 2024. THAT is treason.\"
Something like that might be how it sounds in Trump\u2019s inner world - a world where pop stars are state enemies and talk show hosts strategic threats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That it\u2019s all a media spectacle seems obvious. And yet the first TV show is already in development, with the working title:
\"Celebrity Subpoenas - With Donald Through the Celebrity Interrogation,\" produced by Truth Social Studios and sponsored by Mike Lindell\u2019s MyPillow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The public watches, shakes their heads - or clicks. Maybe that\u2019s the real coup - turning the political stage into a casting show. Where there once were \"checks and balances,\" there are now \"likes and follows.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, Springsteen keeps singing about freedom, Beyonc\u00e9 performs on international stages, Bono saves Africa - and Oprah? Oprah waits. In a quiet voice. For a moment of sanity. One that probably will never come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if the Department of Justice ever does launch an investigation, it will probably be against Taylor Swift - for \"suspicion of undue influence over young female voters with Midnights.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because one thing is certain - as long as Trump is in charge, no one is safe. Except maybe Melania - she\u2019s sitting somewhere with headphones on, listening to \"Born in the USA.\" Ironically. Very ironically.<\/p>\n
Es war ein sonniger Montagmorgen in Mar-a-Lago, als Pr\u00e4sident Donald Trump \u2013 inmitten einer Rede \u00fcber die Vorteile von chlorfreiem Poolwasser \u2013 pl\u00f6tzlich innehielt, einen tiefen Atemzug nahm und feierlich verk\u00fcndete: \u201eWir m\u00fcssen Beyonc\u00e9 untersuchen.\u201c Nicht etwa wegen eines Musikvideos oder einer verd\u00e4chtig perfekten Schwangerschaftsank\u00fcndigung \u2013 nein. Sondern weil sie, so der Pr\u00e4sident, gemeinsam mit […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":878,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":1,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[44,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","category-trump-s-world"],"yoast_head":"\n