ens Spahn coined a phrase that could be plastered across a billboard for this republic: \u201cWe led Germany well through this difficult time.\u201d That was in 2025. By then, he was already head of the CDU\/CSU parliamentary group, responsible for nothing, in charge of everything, surrounded by yes-men with career ambitions. It was the same Jens Spahn who, in 2020, with foaming urgency, purchased 5.8 billion masks \u2013 for a country that needed just 275 million. No matter. When the state places an order, it can be seven times too much. As long as no one notices right away. But the taxpayers eventually noticed \u2013 namely when Spahn's masks rotted in warehouses, stored too warmly, poorly manufactured, bought at inflated prices. Some FFP2 masks cost up to 6.35 euros each \u2013 even though internal recommendations capped them at 3 euros. The additional cost? Around 470 million euros \u2013 which, with a bit of luck, could still be filed under \u201cSpahn\u2019s leisure budget.\u201d And these luxury masks weren\u2019t bought on the open market but rather through Spahn\u2019s private network: Emix Trading, Fiege Logistics \u2013 companies whose only qualification seemed to be knowing the right first name. Professional objections? There were plenty. The Interior Ministry warned, the procurement office shrugged, experts protested. But Spahn had long since tuned out. Fiege got the contract anyway \u2013 without a tender, without review, without shame. It all boiled down to a sentence Spahn is actually said to have uttered: \u201cContracts with people you know often work better.\u201d Mafia, take note: the state is speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then came the great silence. When special investigator Margaretha Sudhof submitted a report on the mask affair, it was initially redacted like an NSA file. The unredacted version was later published \u2013 and it spoke a clear language: lies, abdication of responsibility, ignorance, self-preservation instead of public duty. Spahn did what he does best: sit it out. And the CDU\/CSU? They preferred to block a parliamentary investigation \u2013 in favor of an inquiry commission, the parliamentary equivalent of \u201cLet\u2019s talk about it calmly once the dust has settled.\u201d The list of embarrassments was long: A villa in Berlin-Dahlem for 4.125 million euros, financed through a savings bank whose board Spahn had once sat on. A failed Austrian loan through a Raiffeisen bank. A lawsuit against journalists who had the nerve to look up the land register. And in the end, the quick resale at a loss \u2013 because even Spahn eventually had to admit that corruption doesn't qualify as a capital investment. And as if that weren\u2019t enough, there was the Burda deal. Half a million masks from his husband\u2019s employer \u2013 delivered without a tender, straight to the ministry. No, Funke had \u201cnothing to do with it,\u201d they said later. Just like Emix, Fiege, Dr\u00e4gerwerk, and the Pope. Speaking of Dr\u00e4ger: according to unofficial sources, 90 million euros in option premiums were paid \u2013 for ventilators that were never delivered. Officially? Not a word. But the Federal Audit Office named another figure: 2.3 billion euros in legal risks from Spahn\u2019s time in office. In words: two point three billion for mistakes no one admits to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Spahn? Stayed. Stayed as parliamentary leader, stayed as the face of a party that likes to present itself as technocratic when convenient, and populist when it suits them better. In a 2024 speech, he suggested that AfD politicians could chair parliamentary committees \u2013 as long as they appeared \u201cmoderate enough.\u201d The same Spahn who publicly compared a female SPD politician to Hermann G\u00f6ring. The man has taste. And connections. For example, to America. To Richard Grenell, Trump\u2019s diplomatic club-wielder in Berlin. Or to think tanks closely aligned with Project 2025 \u2013 the ultra-right blueprint for restructuring the U.S. state. In Berlin, Spahn was a welcome guest at \u201cThe Republic,\u201d a network of CDU hopefuls and U.S. conservatives, where they daydream about a world in which government is once again an authoritarian male fantasy. Even rhetorically, Jens Spahn has set standards. Not in terms of clarity or integrity \u2013 but in terms of political dialectic, where every word is a smokescreen. Credit where it\u2019s due: the man knows how to stage himself \u2013 with phrases that are both banal and disturbing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe led Germany well through this difficult time,\u201d he says \u2013 as if the biggest mask waste in the history of the Federal Republic hadn\u2019t just been exposed. \u201cThe AfD is just another party,\u201d he claims \u2013 as if there were no domestic intelligence reports, no far-right networks, no open threats to democracy. \u201cContracts with people you know work better\u201d \u2013 a line ripped straight from the user manual for cronyism. He sees \u201cno reason for a parliamentary investigation\u201d \u2013 even as the evidence piles up to the ceiling. He says, \u201cI have nothing to hide\u201d \u2013 while suing journalists who report on his real estate deals. \u201cI wasn\u2019t responsible,\u201d he insists \u2013 even though his signature is on the billion-euro contracts. The CDU, he says, must \u201cbecome clearer again\u201d \u2013 meaning: veer even further to the right, even closer to the political stormfront where the AfD has long taken up position. \u201cI stand for honesty in politics,\u201d he says \u2013 and he says it precisely in the week the unredacted Sudhof report is published. And then: \u201cCorona has shown how capable our system is.\u201d Presumably he means the Spahn system. A system in which 7 billion euros evaporate in a mix of overconfidence, favoritism, and non-responsibility. \u201cWe must not let ourselves be divided,\u201d says the man who reaches out to the AfD \u2013 and slaps the constitution in the face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spahn can \u2013 nothing<\/strong>! Your support helps us defend human rights and protect the environment \u2013 especially where others look away. Thank you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. Jens Spahn can do everything a democracy doesn\u2019t need. He can distribute what doesn\u2019t belong to him. Obscure what he doesn\u2019t like. Sue those who expose him. And suppress what might convict him. He is not the accident \u2013 he is the system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n