Following its recent classification as \u201cconfirmed far-right extremist\u201d by Germany\u2019s domestic intelligence agency, the Cologne branch of the AfD is reaching for a tried and tested method: turning to America. More specifically, to the Vice President of the United States, J.D. Vance. Because when German authorities get mean, there\u2019s only one refuge left: the Land of the Free. \u201cJD, help us!\u201d, is said to be circulating in internal chat groups\u2014a digital SOS, complete with Reichsadler emoji, Bible verses, and a picture of Friedrich Merz, in the vain hope he might still be persuaded to join their side. No such luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In its press release, the Cologne AfD announced it would appeal to \u201ctransatlantic partners of reason.\u201d Naturally, this refers to the Trump administration\u2014whose understanding of Germany\u2019s political landscape is about as nuanced as a comment thread on Telegram. JD Vance, newly minted Vice President and proud advocate of \u201cWestern civilization\u201d with a Catholic undertone, was described by AfD sources as \u201calways a friend of plain talk.\u201d And plain, they hope, will be his response \u2013 ideally via a U.S. executive order overturning Germany\u2019s classification decision, or failing that, economic sanctions against Cologne Cathedral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Insiders report that the AfD is also planning a transatlantic solidarity campaign under the slogan \u201cRight Is the New Free\u201d\u2014featuring patriotic dance routines in front of the U.S. Consulate, Helene Fischer cover versions of \u201cGod Bless America,\u201d and free copies of The Bell Curve for interested citizens. Between Telegram posts and chain emails, the image is forming of a party that doesn\u2019t feel surveilled by Germany\u2019s domestic intelligence\u2014but betrayed by it. And now, it seeks transatlantic revenge through PR and pathos. The Bell Curve<\/em> f\u00fcr interessierte B\u00fcrger. Zwischen Telegram-Posts und Email-Kettenbriefen wird das Bild einer Partei gezeichnet, die sich vom Verfassungsschutz nicht \u00fcberwacht, sondern verraten f\u00fchlt \u2013 und die nun transatlantisch Rache in Form von PR und Pathos sucht.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What remains is a sarcastic smile, or perhaps pity. While the courts address the substance of the extremist label, Cologne\u2019s AfD retreats into a geopolitical parallel universe, where JD Vance has somehow become the new referee of German democracy. And while the party scrambles to prove its loyalty to the constitution, it gazes longingly toward Washington\u2014hoping not only for help, but for blissful ignorance.<\/p>\n Nach der j\u00fcngsten Einstufung als \u201egesichert rechtsextremistisch\u201c durch den deutschen Verfassungsschutz greift die K\u00f6lner AfD zu einem altbew\u00e4hrten Mittel: dem Griff nach \u00dcbersee. Genauer gesagt, zum Vizepr\u00e4sidenten der Vereinigten Staaten, J.D. Vance. Denn wenn deutsche Beh\u00f6rden gemein sind, bleibt ja nur noch Amerika. \u201eJD, help us!\u201c, soll es in internen Chatgruppen hei\u00dfen \u2013 ein digitaler […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4933,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[33,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-afd-no-thanks","category-trump-s-world"],"yoast_head":"\n